Question and Answer Star Wars jokes
by CassidyKenobi
Summary: A collection of the best Star Wars jokes on the Web. Please reveiw, especailly if you have a good joke to put in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Question and Answer Star Wars Jokes **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, dawg.**

Q: When did Anakin's Jedi teachers know he was going bad?  
A: In the Sith Grade.

Q: What do you call a Sith who won't fight?  
A: A Sithy.

Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?  
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together.

Q: What's the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?  
A: One's an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.

Q: How many Sith does it take to screw in a hyperdrive?  
A: Two, but I don't know how they got in it.

Q: What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?  
A: An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.

Q: Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?  
A: The ship might crack up.

Q: Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?  
A: Darth Waiter.

Q: Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?  
A: Because a Jedi must have patience.

Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?  
A: Chewie!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: dude, I'm writing a FANfiction

Q: What do you call a female Mandalorian?  
A: A Womandalorian.

Q: What do Whipids say when they kiss?  
A: Ouch.

Q: Why does Leia wear buns on her head?  
A: In case she gets hungry in a Senate meeting.

Q: Why did the Stormtrooper start jumping up and down?  
A: He stepped on Ant-hillies.

Q: What do Star Destroyers wear to parties?  
A: A bow TIE.

Q: Why did the smuggler cross the spacelanes?  
A: To get to the other side.

Q: Why did Yoda cross the road?  
A: Because the chickens **Force**d him to.

Q: What side of an Ewok has the most hair?  
A: The outside.

Q: Who tries to be a Jedi?  
A: Obi-Wannabe

Q: Why did the Ewok fall out of the tree?  
A: It was dead.

Q: What happens when a red and white X-Wing crashes into green water?  
A: It gets wet.

Q: Why do Twi'leks like to flip coins?  
A: So that they can say, "Heads or tails!"

Q: As a Disney character what song would Vader sing?  
A: "When You Wish Upon A Death Star".

Q: What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chronometer?  
A: Time to get a new chronometer.

Q: What do Jawa's have that no other creature in the galaxy has?  
A: Baby Jawas.

Q: What do you call a person who brings a rancor its dinner?  
A: The appetizer.

Q: Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?  
A: Because a Jedi must have patience.

Q: What's the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?  
A: The Ackbar.

Q: How would a fat Rogue get into his X-wing?  
A: He'd Wedge himself in.

Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?  
A: Chewie!

Q: How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?  
A: None, if the room's dark, then you can't see them cheat at sabacc.

Q: What do Gungans put things in?  
A: Jar Jars.

Q: Why didn't Luke Skywalker cross the road?  
A: Because he got a ticket for Skywalking.

Q: What does Yoda say to encourage a Padawan before a test?  
A: Do well, you will do!


	3. Chapter 3

What do you get if you mix a fruit with a bounty hunter?  
- Mango Fett!

What do you call a pizza place run by a Hutt?

Pizza "Hutt"

Didja hear about the Civil War epic starring a bunch of droids?  
Yeah... they called it Gonk with the Wind!

Didja hear that Luke Skywalker took driver's ed on Dagobah?  
Yeah... it was a crash course.

Didja hear that Uncle Owen got scammed by a one-eyed Jawa?  
Yeah... he was hoodwinked

Why did Anakin Skywalker not trust Zam Wesell's French cooking?  
He was afraid that crepe would end up deep-fried.

Didja hear that Sebulba got interviewed on an internet radio show?  
It was a podcast!

Why did Darth Vader give his Shakespeare collection to Luke Skywalker?  
So he could take his father's plays at the Emperor's side.

Which squirt gun was invented by a Jedi Padawan?  
The SupAhsoka! (Supersoaker)

Why did Darth Plagueis become a veterinarian for aquatic mammals?  
Because he could save otters from death... but not himself

Didja hear about the space slug who bragged about eating the Millennium Falcon?  
Everyone thought it was hard to swallow.

Didja hear that the Sith created their own weight loss plan?  
Yeah... it's called Force Lightening! (weight)

Didja hear that Anakin Skywalker dressed up as Snow White?  
Yeah... and if Obi-Wan was there, he would be very Grumpy.

What did Han Solo say about the collected works of  
L. Frank Baum?  
_Never tell me the Oz!_

Why are there no successful businessmen in Otoh Gunga?  
They have a hard time keeping their heads above water!

How did Han Solo relax on Cloud City?  
He got frozen in carbonite, and let off a lot of steam!

How did Yoda like his orange juice?  
From concentraaaa_aaaaaaate!_

How do Tusken Raiders cheat on their taxes?  
They always single file... y'know, to hide their numbers.

Why did Admiral Piett's grandmother enlist in the Empire?  
She heard they have the best walkers in the galaxy!

Why did Darth Vader give a baton to the Imperial commander on Endor?  
So he could conduct a further search of the area!

Why did Count Dooku get a crow for a pet?  
So that ten thousand systems would rally to his caws!

Didja hear that Lando started dating the Millennium Falcon's satellite dish?  
He eventually broke it off.

Didja hear that Jabba wrote a play about the sarlacc pit?  
Yeah... he wanted to cast Luke Skywalker in it.

Was Luke Skywalker impressed by the Cloud City air shaft?  
Oh yeah. He was blown away!

Why did Admiral Piett buy a bunch of Duracells?  
So he could intensify the forward batteries!

Didja hear that Luke Skywalker kept lying about his time spent in the trash compactor?  
Yeah, but eventually he came clean.

Why did Princess Leia get invited to so many barbecues?  
Because she always brought the buns!

What did the Jedi say to the pig farmer?  
May the pork be with you!


	4. Chapter 4

Authors' note: A Dianoga is that trash monster thing in ANH

P.S. Thanks for all the reviews!

Disclaimer: DO. NOT. OWN. DO. NOT. SUE.

Why was there a core shaft in the Emperor's throne room?  
It sure is a mystery, but don't worry... Palpatine got to the bottom of it.

Why did Darth Vader log on to eBay?  
So he could do his master's bidding!

What happened to the stormtrooper who was hard of hearing?  
He served aboard the Deaf Star!

Why did nobody want to play basketball with the Dianoga?  
He would always talk trash!

Didja hear that Luke Skywalker dressed up as the Abominable Snowman?  
Yeah... the Force was with him, but he was not a Jedi Yeti.

What happened when Luke Skywalker broke up with his starship?  
It became his Ex-wing.

Why did Han Solo dress up like a Russian emperor before leaving the Mos Eisley Cantina?  
Because he was czary about the mess.

How do Sand People shave?  
With a Tusken Razor!

Didja hear about the Emperor's new luxury cruise liner?  
It was called the TIEtanic!

Why did Darth Maul shine his horns before going out?  
He wanted to look sharp!

Why did General Grievous allow his bodyguard to join an experimental theatre troupe?  
He was a very avant guard.

Why did Anakin Skywalker get tired of being a Jedi?  
He just got burned out!

How do you beat a pit droid at poker?  
Just hit it on the nose and it'll fold real fast.

Didja hear about the Tusken Raider who left his tribe to get a job at Walmart?  
Yeah, but he'll soon be back... and in greeter numbers!

Why did R2-D2 project a hologram of a ladder?  
He was playing the rung message!

Why did Obi-Wan Kenobi repeat the words "Jedi starfighter" over and over again?  
It had a nice ring to it!

Why did everyone listen to Orn Free Taa's opinions?  
He carried a lot of weight

Didja hear about the planet filled entirely with cows?  
It was in the Moooooooostafar system!

Who were the guardians of peace and justice and really nice toenails?  
The Pedi Knights!

Why did R2-D2 eat a lot of moussaka, stifado, and galaktoboureko?  
He was an overweight glob of Greece!

Didja hear that Luke Skywalker kept lying about his time spent in the trash compactor?  
Yeah, but eventually he came clean.

Didja hear that Darth Vader really knew how to dance?  
He twisted... by the dark side...

Didja hear that Lando kept exaggerating about the sarlacc?  
Yeah... he went a bit overboard with it.

Why did Admiral Piett buy a bunch of Duracells?  
So he could intensify the forward batteries!

Why did Captain Solo worry so much about his wardrobe?  
He had a vested interest in it!

Which Jedi grew up on a corn farm?  
Shuck Ti!


	5. Chapter 5

Question and answer star wars jokes 5

Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own.

Which Jedi would eat corn for every meal?  
Maize Windu!

What goes ha-ha-ha-thump?  
A droid laughing its head off.

What is Jabba the Hutt's middle name?  
"The"

How does Princess Leia get her cinnamon bun hair?

She stuck each side of her head, one at a time, into a cotton candy machine.

Why is the Millennium Falcon so slow?  
Because it takes a millennium to go anywhere.

Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing and such?  
At the Darth Mall, of course.

What do you call 5 Siths piled on top of a lightsaber?  
A Sith-Kabob!

Why did Darth Vader climb the up the wall, and then purposely fall down?

He wanted to feel the Force of gravity!

Which Star Wars character uses meat for a weapon instead of a Lightsaber?  
Obi-wan Baloney.

Which Star Wars character likes to chew gum?  
Chewie.

How many Sith does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They prefer it a little on the dark side.

Why does Princess Leia keep her hair up in buns?

So her hair doesn't Hang Solow.

Does R2-D2 have any brothers?

No, only transistors.

What happened when Grand Moff Tarkin fell into a giant blender?  
He became Ground Moff Tarkin!

How did Yoda like his orange juice?  
From concentraaaa_aaaaaaate!_


End file.
